华诤回到家时,家人都睡了。第二天起得晚,下楼吃早餐时,父母亲和姑姑都出去买东西了,只见表姐dy穿着牛仔裤和T-shirt,光着脚丫子,一只腿踩缩在椅子上,正对着餐桌坐着吃东西呢。
“Hey, Matty, finally get up,Ah?”
比华诤大一岁的表姐dy岳思思是ABC,也就是传说中的“香蕉人”。她短发烫得卷卷地贴着头皮,瘦瘦的,皮肤故意晒得比较黑,眼睛很大。这种外貌在美国可是很吃得开的——美国人以为,东方女孩就应该长得又黑又立体才叫有神韵。
她打的招呼让华诤不好意思地抓抓头发。宋云贞正从院里进来,关上门,回身对华诤道:
“哟,大宝贝儿,起了?”
站在华母旁的菲佣,用生硬的中文道:
“少爷吃什么早餐?”
“随便”
华母道:
“那和姐姐一样吃牛奶面包?”
“好,谢谢奶奶”
华母接过菲佣手里的餐盘,边把早餐放在餐桌上边道:
“昨天怎么这么晚才回来?”
“Granny, He definitely had some st night.”
dy的脸对着外祖母解释,眼睛却是看着华诤挤眉弄眼。华诤有点怀疑自己的英文水平:
“I didn’t have anything st night. I came babsp; and I went straight to sleep.”
dy十指张开,双掌在耳朵两边朝外举:
“ Eww~Liar! Whatever you say . Hey, Whatever you say!”
华诤觉得自己肯定跟表姐有什么误会,拉开椅子坐在她对面:
“I’m not lying. I don’t have to.OK?FYI, what do you mean when you said I had some? Had some what?”
“SEX! Of course!”
华诤一口牛奶喷在餐桌上。
dy笑着接道:
“What do you think I mean?”
华母忙过来给他拍着背:
“怎么了?宝贝,慢点喝!吃饭不要说话嘛。”
华诤边抽张纸捂嘴咳嗽,边朝祖母摆摆手、示意她不用帮忙。华母便拿了抹布来擦桌子:
“你们姐弟俩说什么呢?”
华诤忙道:
“没什么,没什么。”
“It’s OK to have sex,Matty, you don’t have to lie. I get it——You are a grown-up, you are in a retionship,you have sex.That’s what people do. Hey, I bet your girlfriend must be really awesome to keep you that long. ”
华诤连连朝表姐摇手:
“We didn’t have sex. We’ve never had sex.”
“Whaaaat?!”
dy看华诤的眼神,让华诤觉得自己就像来自侏罗纪世界的恐龙。
“You serious? ”
“Yeah. Why would I lie something about that?”
华诤顿了顿,既然表姐这么光明磊落,他也不想做个萎缩怕事的人,便露出一个无奈的苦笑,坦白道:
“Although I really want to. To be ho , It’s killing me! You know ,the whole NO SEX thing.”
“So you are hot?”
“What do you expebsp; I’ve never had sex in my entire life. Look at me, Sis.! I’m always hot! OK? However, my girlfriend, she’s too shy. I don’t want to scare her off.”
dy深感自己和这个表弟在文化上的差异鸿沟深深,两人根本鸡同鸭讲:
“Hey ,Matty, Sweety, look, you gotta have sex with your girlfriend, you gotta have WILD sex with your girlfriend——that’s what boyfriends do.That’s what would keep your girlfriend closer. I bsp; ensure you that you are not the only one who’s hot. Women have needs.”
“Really?”
dy翻了一个“那还用说”的白眼,把脚放下来,正襟危坐,好像要准备谈什么事关国计民生的国家大事:
“I’m a girl,right? I’ve had boyfriends. I got a say in this staff. You gotta believe me,Matty, mark my words——Women have needs. Just go and meet the needs. Make your woman happy.”
华诤觉得表姐背后放着万道金光——简直就是上天派来拯救他的天使!
“But I don’t know how to bring it up. I love my girlfriend too mubsp; I don’t want...”
“Wow Wow”
dy 双掌向外,像在推着什么东西:
“Wait a minute, Matty, Mathew, Matt Wa. Wait a minute! You saidaaa you LOVE her? Are you sure? Love is a big word. We don’t use it unless we really feel it.”
“Yeah. I ’t be more sure. I love her. Ever sinbsp; the first time I saw her, I’ve been falling love with her. Actually, as days go by, I love her even more. Look, She is the sweetest girl I’ve ever seen. If anything, I’m hopelessly and desperately in love with her.”
dy脸绷紧了,眼珠子在瞪大的眼眶中转了转:
“Wow, OK. Loud and clear. Great. Good for you, Matty! Good for you. So you are in love. Does she love you back?”
提这一茬,华诤有点黯然神伤,耸耸肩:
“Well, I guess not. I don’t think so.”
伸长手臂拍着表弟的肩膀,dy慢慢道:
“Hey, have you ever heard the poem?”
“What poem?”
“’To be with a woman who doesn’t love you babsp; is more lonely than to be alone’”
为这句话,姐弟俩默哀了几秒钟。华诤想起什么,拍拍桌子道:
“Focus! Sis. Focus! Anyway, I don’t want to make things weird between me and my girlfriend. Are there any tips? Anything would lead us to``` you know?”
“OK”
dy摊摊手,笑道:
“You are family. Teically, you are my little brother. I’m your big sister. And I love you. I do. Henbsp; I would help you out whenever you need me. First of all”
dy 右手从左手心里扳出一个手指头:
“You gotta get a room for you two. Be alone, for God sake! ”
不过,鉴于中美意识上的差异,dy还是不放心地补充问了一句:
“Is your girlfriend OK with that?”
华诤点点头:
“Yeah. I bsp; make that happen.”
“OK. Sedly, there is a story whibsp; would make your girlfriend want to have sex with you voluntarily. However, You gotta state it right.”
有这么神奇的事?
“What story?”
华诤正以空前绝后高涨热忱的态度在学习,大人们就回来了。华珮进门时,远远听到他们两姐弟的话,便喝道:
“思思,你忘记我们之间承诺了?在家不准说中文!”
岑兰笑道:
“是不许说英文吧?”
华珮笑道:
“唉,都被她气糊涂了。是,不准说英文!在家不准说英文!”
岳思思站起来,华诤抓住她的短袖阻止她离开:
“什么故事?”
岳思思为难道:
“对不起,你姑姑不准我说英文。我不知道用中文怎么说,我中文不好,我不会翻译。”