ele bald
at the close of the test for representing the dumfries burghs, 1790.
addressed traham, esq. of fintry.
fintry, my stay in wordly strife,
friend o' my muse, friend o' my life,
are ye as idle's i am?
e then, wi' uncouth kintra fleg,
o'er pegasus i'll fling my leg,
and ye shall see me try him.
but where shall i go rin a ride,
that i may sptter nane beside?
i wad na be uncivil:
in manhood's various paths and ways
there's aye some doytin' body strays,
and i ride like the devil.
thus i break aff wi' a' my birr,
and down yon dark, deep alley spur,
where theologics daunder:
as! curst wi' eternal fogs,
and damn'd iing bogs,
as sure's the creed i'll blunder!
i'll stain a band, or jaup a gown,
or rin my reckless, guilty
against the haly door:
sair do i rue my luckless fate,
when, as the muse an' deil wad hae't,
i rade that road before.
suppose i take a spurt, and mix
amang the wilds o' politics—
electors aed,
where dogs at court (sad sons of bitches!)
septennially a madouches,
till all the nd's ied.
all hail! drumnrig's haughty grace,
discarded remnant of a race
once godlike—great in story;
thy forbears' virtues all trasted,
the very name of dougs bsted,
thihat ied glory!
hate, envy, oft the dougs bore,
but thou hast superadded more,
and sunk them in pt;
follies and crimes have stain'd the name,
but, queensberry, thihe virgin cim,
from aught that's good exempt!
i'll sing the zeal drumnrig bears,
who left the all-important cares
of princes, and their darlings:
and, bent on winning bh touns,
came shaking hands wi' wabster-loons,
and kissing barefit carlins.
bustion thro' our bhs rode,
whistling his r pack abroad
of mad unmuzzled lions;
as queensberry blue and buff unfurl'd,
aerha' and hopetoun hurled
to every whig defiance.
but cautious queensberry left the war,
th' unmanner'd dust might soil his star,
besides, he hated bleeding:
but left behind him heroes bright,
heroes in caesarean fight,
or ciian pleading.
o for a throat like huge mons-meg,
to muster o'er each ardent whig
beh drumnrig's banners;
heroes and heroines ix,
all in the field of politics,
to win immortal honours.
m'murdo and his lovely spouse,
(th' enamour'd urels kiss her brows!)
led on the loves and graces:
she won each gaping burgess' heart,
while he, sub rosa, pyed his part
amang their wives and sses.
craigdarroch led a light-arm'd core,
tropes, metaphors, and figures pour,
like hec streaming thunder:
glenriddel, skill'd in rusty s,
blew up each tory's dark designs,
and bared the treason under.
iher wing two champions fought;
redoubted staig, who set at nought
the wildest savage tory;
and welsh who ne'er yet flinch'd his ground,
high-wav'd his magnum-bonum round
with cyclopeian fury.
miller brought up th' artillery ranks,
the many-pounders of the banks,
resistless desotion!
while maxwelton, that baron bold,
'mid wson's port entrench'd his hold,
and threaten'd worse damnation.
to these what tory hosts oppos'd
with these what tory warriors clos'd
surpasses my descriving;
squadroended long and rge,
with furious speed rush to the charge,
like furious devils driving.
what verse sing, rose narrate,
the butcher deeds of bloody fate,
amid this mighty tulyie!
grim hirn'd, pale terror roar'd,
as murder at his thrapple shor'd,
and hell mix'd in the brulyie.
as highnd craigs by thunder cleft,
when lightnings fire the stormy lift,
hurl down with crashing rattle;
as fmes among a hundred woods,
as headlong foam from a hundred floods,
such is the rage of battle.
the stubborn tories dare to die;
as soon the rooted oaks would fly
before th' approag fellers:
the whigs e on like o's roar,
when all his wintry billows pour
against the bu bullers.
lo, from the shades of death's deep night,
departed whigs enjoy the fight,
and think on former daring:
the muffled murtherer of charles
the magna charter fg unfurls,
all deadly gules its bearing.
nor wanting ghosts of tory fame;
bold scrimgeour follows galnt graham;
auld anters shiver—
five! five! much-wrong'd montrose!
now death and hell engulph thy foes,
thou liv'st on high for ever.
still o'er the field the bat burns,
the tories, whigs, give way by turns;
but fate the word has spoken:
for woman's wit and strength o'man,
as! do but what they ;
the tory ranks are broken.
o that my een were flowing burns!
my voice, a liohat mourns
her darling cubs' undoing!
that i might greet, that i might cry,
while tories fall, while tories fly,
and furious whigs pursuing!
what whig but melts food sir james,
dear to his try, by the names,
friend, patron, beor!
not pulteney's wealth pulteney save;
and hopetoun falls, the generous, brave;
and stewart, bold as hector.
thou, pitt, shalt rue this overthrow,
and thurlow growl a curse of woe,
and melville melt in wailing:
now fox and sheridan rejoice,
and burke shall sing, “o prince, arise!
thy power is all-prevailing!”
for your poor friend, the bard, afar
he only hears ahe war,
a cool spectator purely!
so, wheorm the forest rends,
the robin in the hedge desds,
and sober chirps securely.
now, for my friends' and brethren's sakes,
and for my dear-lov'd nd o' cakes,
i pray with holy fire:
lord, send a rough-shod troop o' hell
o'er a' wad sd buy or sell,
to grind them in the mire!